How Much Is Laminating At Staples

La verità dell'Università. Parte 2

Dottore                E va bene, con i professori c’hai la carogna, s’è capito. Ma almeno starai con i ricercatori che protestano e scendono in piazza e salgono sui tetti! E con gli studenti!

Università            Calma, calma, bellino! We make distinctions. Before we talk about research, then we see. Sure, they're made worse professors and work as much, if not more. But from there to defend them and rip off your clothes ...

Doctor 're a reactionary I knew it! A counter-revolutionary, just like the leftists say they are talking about the Minister. At the end you also supports the powerful against the weak ...

University UHE, wait a minute! Answer a few questions first?

Doctor Then there is no time, shoot! The barbarians are pressing at the door!

University Do you agree that for at least thirty years, you do not receive research grants without recommendation or report?

Doctor What exaggeration! It happens, it is true, and yet many often walk with their own two feet.

University will! I do not and I know but .... But tell me, in life you think people preferiscono essere ricche o povere?

Dottore                Quasi sempre ricche, è chiaro! Ma sono domande?

Università            E i ricercatori sono pagati bene?

Dottore                Bene non direi.

Università            Quindi quelli che una volta laureati ricevono proposte di lavoro private meglio remunerate che fanno?

Dottore                Vanno a lavorare nel privato. Ma chi sta in Università lo fa per un ideale, perché   wants to do research without being constrained by the rules of profit!

University Ah well. We arrived at the ideal time worn ... However we have already narrowed down the field. The researcher is one who has ideals, are not interested to earn more, it can not do the same thing in some private property. Not exactly a common picture. And the uncertainty of the path, where you put it?

Doctor Beh, i ricercatori sono gente coraggiosa in effetti. Perché inizi a fare il ricercatore ma non sai come finisci. E se ti troveranno una collocazione.

Università            Esatto. Quindi tendenzialmente devi pure essere benestante, perché i primi anni, tra dottorato e assegni a singhiozzo, non ci campi. La popolazione interessata si restringe …

Dottore                the most motivated, courageous and selfless.

University There will be only the most wealthy and less motivated to work?

Doctor Who has to do with motivation? What do you know if one is motivated?

Università            Io nulla, però … Se ti dai più da fare, come ricercatore, diventi professore? Oppure ti arrivano più soldi?

Dottore                Beh, no. Insomma ora che mi ci fai pensare, che un ricercatore si dia da fare oppure no cambia poco. Ho visto gente diventare assegnista senza aver finito neppure una tesi di ricerca. E altri diventare ricercatori con pubblicazioni ridicole, raffazzonate e scopiazzate.

Università            Ah! Sai io che penso? Che la natura umana ci spinge a non fare niente, se non ne otteniamo vantaggi. Quindi i ricercatori tendenzialmente non faranno niente, visto che non serve a nulla. O meglio, una cosa la faranno …

Dottore                                E cosa, per Dio?

Università            Vedo che anche tu perdi la pazienza, bene! I ricercatori si cercano degli amici, dei sostenitori, degli sponsor. Questa è la loro attività principale. Una corte di adulatori.

Dottore                Ma come ti permetti! C’è people who do so for two cents a bunch and is being exploited.

University But for heaven's sake, of course. Mica say that there are not, hardworking people! Or is their fault! No, I say that the system gives the flattering, that's all. What most are clear-cut and bow are most fascinating. Ah, I add that even fewer are self-employed have more chance of progression.

Doctor COSA? SMETTILA! STAI DIFFAMANDO! IO TI QUERELO!

Università            Ma suvvia, sto dicendo cose ovvie. Cose normali. Se sei un professore, ti fa piacere avere alle dipendenze uno che ti deve tutto, o no? Così sei sicuro che non potrà mai scalzarti dal tuo trono. E stai sicuro che nessuno metterà in dubbio le tue idee, pena l’ostracismo e l’espulsione. Sai quanti ne ho visti, di ricercatori e assegnisti, fare ricerche in cui non credevano minimamente, solo per piaggeria verso il professore?

Doctor All right. Let's say I believe it, although I know that things are not true. Do you think the researchers are prevalence of current recommendations, are mostly children of fathers who can finance their studies, they are people who can not find work in private or do not seek him, tend to be very motivated and are encouraged to do the courtiers. It may be, even if it is true the other way around! We would like to reform this rotten system, for God?

Università            Aspetta un attimo! Ho dimenticato una cosa fondamentale: la fuga di cervelli! Tutti quelli che conoscevo con vera competenza e passione e orgoglio e bisogno di lavorare e desiderio di una vita normale, ecco tutti questi negli ultimi vent’anni se ne sono andati all’estero a fare ricerca.

Dottore                Motivo migliore per rinnovarla, questa maledetta università!

Università            Ma benedetto figliolo, certo che sì, che il lifting vorrei farmelo anche io. Ma ora che faccio? Scendo in campo con la sinistra, a difendere questi attuali professori o ricercatori, che vogliono starmi sulle croste per i prossimi 150 anni? O mi schiero con la Ministra, che vuole rendere ancora meno appetibile e incerta la professione del ricercatore, riducendolo ad un precariato permanente? E che vuole dare più potere ai baroni nei consigli di administration? But come on ... as the saying Liga "is not the time for us and never will be ..."

Doctor But you are defeatist. Something must be done well, if only for these children, our students. They want us to think, or not? They are our future!

University Ma a te dove ti hanno pescato, dimmi un po’? Dall’era glaciale tre ? No perché sei davvero jurassico nei ragionamenti. Ma non mi hai detto che ogni tanto hai insegnato, in università?

Dottore                Beh, insegnato è una parola grossa. Ho fatto il tutor per qualche anno, qualche sottospecie di seminario di poche ore.

Università            Oh that's funny mentoring! And, well in fact, the tutor is not a figure that is required in case of great difficulty? This was not the original sense of the profession?

Doctor But what? And educational assistance ... Now we

University Come on, let's be serious, come on! Man to man. Then, these students seem motivated you?

Doctor But look what you generalize AL-LU-CI-NAN -TI! I'm surprised at you.

University Yes, ok, are generalizations. You seem in general motivated to learn, 'sti college girls? And I say to study, not to pass the exams.

Doctor Well the care of the matter itself, generally little. From what I've heard from other colleagues is a fairly common situation: the more that students understand the material interested in achieving a vote and pass the exam. But this is a guess, really! Perhaps it is true and we che non li capiamo.

Università            E sarà pure come dici tu. Però l’impressione non è buona, ammettiamolo. Di persone appassionate non ce ne sono molte. Appassionarmi io alla loro causa, diciamo pure che   è dura.. E poi …

Dottore                Then what? Look what is normal at first, focus on results. We must take an objective and they are in voting to pass the exam! By objectives is wise and rational.

University Seeeeeeee. Ah well, by all means pass the exam is certainly their goal! And let's face it, why should you care to understand or study?

Doctor Ma insomma, come perché! Perché l’intelligenza è un piacere e la conoscenza pure. E soprattutto, più sai, più successo hai (ma guarda un po’ che bello slogan che m’è venuto di getto!).

Università            Ti dirò, a rischio d’essere materiale, io penso che vivere e mangiare e, scusa, scopare, diano più soddisfazioni che studiare. Studiare è una fatica, che quasi sempre vale la pena per fare dei soldi e per farsi una posizione!  

Dottore                Sapere è potere, tanto per proseguire con gli slogan!

Università            Ah! Ti sei proprio girato la corda intorno al collo da solo. Ma dimmi, quanto ti vale, nel mondo del lavoro, avere fatto il dottorato? Ti cercano più spesso, ti pagano di Moreover, they treat you with respect?

Doctor What you're infamous! Personal attacks on me. I have nothing worth, God, no! Indeed, companies do not call me because they think I'm much more time studying. And I have to hide the title of doctor, if I want to work. But my experience that all about?

University But honey, you're peaceful! You're in good company. But do not you know that in this country will be a yes and no 20% of people who find work through the curriculum? What's interesting to anyone that you have skills? That what counts is to be a friend of Tom and Dick?

Doctor But congratulations. Then bent too to this bad habit and get it over with.

University But no, honey, it's just an observation. That instead of these students miss I would lose time studying. I would try to get a title quite quickly and I'd do anything for any appearance with someone that matters.

Doctor So do not take to the field even for students. But enough is enough! You have to tell me that we do! What do we make of you, damn you!

University Watch you know what? I've got that I thought about it and eventually it seems so hopeless that your general anxiety. In fact it bothers me almost as if all I'd like to pull to the jacket. Or as if you were all how those relatives not seen in years and when you're about to pull the gambino are all around the hospital bed, because maybe we will run away a slice of heritage.

Doctor What pessimism! And the rancor! But how, precisely you who are the hope of our country, it is you that should guarantee us a future of prosperity and beauty!

University But no, look! Basically, in many decades of life I gained the calm indifference. I finally realized that nothing and no one is indispensable! So, please, and let stand lasciatimi a dignified death. Enough of this aggressive treatment, let me go, I'm ready.

Doctor What! But on a lady! No, no, no! You must live! We need you! I always say the great and fair President. How will we live without you?

University Come on, cheer up. In fact it is already quite a lot 'of years that you have learned to do without me. Of course, there was still the formality of the title, the six or seven years of maintaining family studies, but in the end what you really learned? If there was good family and friends there were a job where you had to start all over again, because there was one thing you've read that you serve to work. And the good ones, well, they will go abroad, as they do. The rest, as he said with masterly irony unaware a Minister, must rediscover the beauty of handicrafts. And then, let's face it, without people thinking you'll be much better in this country. Just talk to us instead of living and in deed. Rather look, I think I have to take away the pain …. Addio caro… Un bacio a tutti e buona fortuna!

Dottore                Metti giù la pistola!!! No, no, mio Dio no! Cosa hai fatto, maledetta! Cosa hai fatto! Ti sei uccisa! E adesso, povera patria, come faremo? Come vivremo? Che diranno di noi in Europa?

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La verità dell'Università. Parte 1.

A confidential source gave us the lyrics of this hot conversation. After several days of reflection we decided to publish it to affirm the right of information. From our investigations the subject be referred to as the University is clearly the person in Italian University, including for the first time you can hear the views on the events of which has recently protagonist: a scoop of "Coffee PARTY" that breaks wall of silence and obscurity for decades.'Università The first expresses his opinions on the professors and then to researchers and students. Given the length of the intervention is now published Preview the part on teachers, students and researchers on that tomorrow. If, as Benigni says "these reports are confirmed but I can not believe it, I figured," would be of considerable gravity.

(ps. The "doctor" mentioned in the dialogue appears to be a research doctor who has finished his progression stops at the university and its statements are only partially reliable).

Doctor 'll be happy, old woman! Television and newspapers do nothing but talk about you in those days. All interested in your disease and propose remedies, by the Minister up to the students.

University Are you here to criticize, get in line there tail. A brood of snakes, here's what I raised in these decades!

Doctor You should imagine, my dear. By dint of doing dissolute life, expenses and debts crazy everywhere, sooner or later someone would come to ask for the bill.

University Oh! Oh! Let's calm down, okay? What now seems to me that for years has only made me and my business is fun. But I, spending and spreading, I bled for the rest of you, you know it or not? And misery thief, I publicly defended at least one of those who've helped all these years!

Doctor Who could, for God? Do not meet with me 'sti talk, you know? I win for a doctorate without due recommendations I try a dozen in Italy. What next? Three years to eight hundred euro a month and a pat on the back end, congratulations to "the excellent work " and who have seen s'visto, complete with a pat on the shoulder.

University Ma chi parla di te? Ma che vuoi che mi interessi d’un misero dottorino di ricerca, ligio e disciplinato come un chierichetto! Ma no, qui parliamo di gente che conta, dei professoroni che vanno dai 2.500 ai 6.000 e spingi al mese! Quelli sì che gli faccio fare da decenni la bella vita. E quanti poi si fanno vanto del mio nome e prestigio nell’esercizio della loro seconda professione: avvocati, magistrati, primari, tributaristi e via discorrendo! Gente con il doppio e triplo stipendio, che non ha mai pensato che in questo ci fosse qualche cosa di strano! E però adesso che tutti mi bastonano se ne stanno zitti e qualche scriteriato da addirittura manforte agli studenti scalmanati!

Dottore                Già che non ti abbiano fanno la pelle dovresti stare contenta, no? E poi anche i cattedratici dicono che non hai mai dato abbastanza importanza al merito e alle capacità e si lamentano che non ci sia una progressione degli stipendi e delle carriere costruita sulla base del lavoro svolto. Qualcuno sostiene anche che alla fine a te non importa neppure della didattica, che sei una snob e che ti vorresti occupare solo di ricerca! E negli ultimi tempi, dicono, sei diventata pure tirchia, e rispetto alle tue parenti straniere you put very little money!

University But for goodness sake! Still invest? For whom, for these people here? Ah look, which has the reason for this, the Minister, of money sufficient to similar ingrates! And then 'I'm broken record of "merit" and skill! Merit and competence a horn! But you know that a hundred teachers there has been only one of them that I have not been reported, recommended, required, recommended? You go to look for those deserving enough, we add less to find the famous needle gospel. A building full of friends, lovers, acquaintances and relatives , here is what I have reduced. And, just outside the exit, a nation of beggars. Responsible? But that stop blathering nonsense! The substance used as the cloth to the toilet in recent years.

Doctor See I come from my own? Why admit it right now to introduce it on. With mechanisms for evaluation of universities and the new evidence for the selection of teaching staff, as required by the Minister. And, moreover, agrees well to the left, that needed reform in this sense merit.

University Bella come on! Until yesterday, even today, I only had people on board were doing the right recommendation, but to say tomorrow that completely changes. And you? Do not you stand to miss a moment discussion! Have you eaten four millstones for years and now they have to pay your account the next customer!

Doctor But you are becoming hysterical and deaf? Did I already told you not to put myself in the middle. I was kicked out just because I had relatives and friends. ..

University Sì, sì, tutti quelli che non ce la fanno dicono così, che è colpa del sistema cattivo. Secondo me, invece, non eri all’altezza di insegnare all’Università. E poi, costruirsi delle amicizie è un arte, lo sai? Sapere venire a compromesso, essere sufficientemente ma non sfacciatamente ruffiano, servile ma non servo schiocco, sono tutte qualità che non s’apprendono facilmente. Occorre sporcarsi il giusto, senza diventare ributtante! Comoda la vita per voi anime belle e moralisti da strapazzo! Volete la pappa pronta, ecco tutto!

Dottore                Va bene, può darsi, sarò incapace e moralista. Comunque, che ci vuoi fare? Se prima s’è sbagliato, a dare i privilegi e fare raccomandazioni,   adesso bisogna riformare. Da domani, si fa tutto il mondo nuovo.

Università.         Prrrrrrrrr!!!

Dottore                Che fai, spernacchi?

Università            Ma certo che si! Ma dite a me che sono vecchia e antiquata e poi cosa proponete? Una bella riforma che garantisce i soliti privilegiati. Siete tutti uguali voi politici, di destra come di sinistra. I professoroni nessuno li tocca, anche perché in tanti stanno seduti in parlamento. E se qualcuno ci prova, altolà, invocate i DI-RIT-TI! Avete inventato questo giochetto linguistico e i privilegi vostri, acquisiti quando in Italia si stava economicamente più che bene, sono diritti: e those who come after, struggle! Although the debts and failures are yours!

Doctor now ends in rancor, though! What do you do, makes it difficult to fifty of our best scholars? With what anguish to live in, can you imagine? And as they do with their families? And how do they remain equally productive, if rosi anguish of not knowing what to wait for tomorrow?

University Oh, but you are really late! But as these fortunes are bright stars for decades, earning three, four, seven times more than a researcher who makes them exactly the same job, they are glued to their chair forever (even the few who are not lazy nothing), and you you care about them? Blessed Jesus! But we would like him to account for something? See what they produce and how quality and then decide what to give? Indeed io direi che si dovrebbe partire proprio dall’inizio,   vedere se sia effettivamente il caso di dargli qualcosa! Insomma, citiamoli in giudizio!

Dottore                Ed dire che pensavo d’essere io il più arrabbiato. Ma tu sei una pericolosa sovversiva! Come? Vorresti rendere flessibile lo stipendio di un povero professore? Cosa mi tocca sentire! E vorresti addirittura, ma quasi non oso dirlo, legare la carriera docente alla produttività? But you realize, a professor is a public servant, his salary and his career is untouchable! E 'sacrilege!

University On a Madonna! You got it, finally! If you wanted to make a credible reform was necessary to question the privileges of one who hath dried up in recent years. You had to have a bias against those who have previously had a career. But have you ever seen a revolution that starts condemning and punishing future generations? But no! They had to roll the heads of all those who were jointly responsible, that's what had to happen!

Doctor equally responsible for what? Moderate for charity that could feel! Think of your institutional profile, think about your dignity history!

University Arrived I'm at the point, that want to cheat me of my dignity, if I have to go around in their underwear to beg! Anyway, I tell you and Stradic are the professors who have to pay. Fished in his pockets for me from all this time? Well, they pay! Used to me from their personal affarucci ? Well, that's worth showing! Every two years a better assessment of performance and if there is failure, in research or teaching, they go home! And you know who we interview them: on the foreign teachers and students!

Doctor What do I hear? A review every two years for an honorable professor? Are You Kidding? Is not that enough evaluation of the case for universities and departments in a bipartisan proposals from both sides?

University But excuse for a moment, you exams at the university gave them as a group? Your vote is the result of the average of other students' questions? Nooo? So what is the history of the assessment group? No, no, I do not care anymore! It assesses the individual teacher and what did you see prodotto. E che si spaventi pure, che in tutti questi anni di angosce non ne ha certo avute, con il suo consistente stipendio garantito!

Dottore                E va bene, con i professori c’hai la carogna, s’è capito. Ma almeno starai con i ricercatori che protestano e scendono in piazza e salgono sui tetti! E con gli studenti!